


time of dying

by PunishedPyotr



Series: Only Ones and Zeros [21]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: First Aid, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Liquid's own personal emotional rollercoaster, M/M, Mantis u gotta stop lying to ur bf on a technicality, Minor Violence, Whump, don't @ me on the Three Days Grace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 07:05:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16990317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunishedPyotr/pseuds/PunishedPyotr
Summary: Mantis feels almost a little pathetic for the wave of relief that washes over him, but he is by all means most likely dying at that very moment, so he figures that freaking the fuck out should be allowed right now.





	time of dying

**Author's Note:**

> Leo (hingabee) helped me write this but didn't wanna be listed as co-author :(

Ocelot had called this "little more than a training op", a chance to see what the girls are capable of and to whet their appetites for battle. Now dubbed the 'Beauty and the Beast Unit', or 'B&B', they're supposed to assist one of the innumerable small PMCs Ocelot's grooming for... something... participating in a meaningless regional skirmish on the ass-end of the world for now.

Mantis  _ was _ tempted to point out that all four of them are under the age of 18, but he knows Ocelot wouldn't care — obviously, Liquid doesn't find child soldiers objectionable since that was one of vanishingly few times in his life he felt really useful. But even without the Liquid persona Mantis really doubts Ocelot would care. Frankly, Mantis doesn't mind so much either. The other three girls are a bit of liability, true, but their animal-themed exoskeletons are much more robust than Mantis'.

If anything, that makes him a little nervous. Both he and the Scandinavian are very minimally armored, but at least the Scandinavian’s four mechanical tentacles give her the ability to move ridiculously fast, faster even than the Indonesian's jetpack thing or the African's quadrupedal suit. Mantis, meanwhile, is a sitting - or rather floating - duck. All he can do is try to stay on the edge of the action, directing and coordinating three hysterical teenagers while trying not to draw any enemy attention to himself.

Because of  _ course _ he's been handed commandership of the B&B Unit. It's not surprising at all - even the Patriots were grooming the girl for that, since she's the one with the (literally) adult personality — but leadership isn't Mantis' area of expertise. His goal isn't to prove anything to Ocelot, it's just to get out of here alive. Maybe with the other three girls alive too if it’s convenient.

Every time a stray bullet whizzes past him, Mantis drifts further away. His connection with the other girls - mostly facilitated by nanomachines - is shaky at the best of times, so there's a certain range he needs to stay in, but frankly he's prioritizing his own life here. Or rather, the life of the girl whose body he inhabits, since it's through her that he maintains a hold on this world - this world where Liquid is, in his current incorporeal form.

For once the girl is paying attention, and she's terrified of the battle, even if she's not in the thick of it. Her skull is vibrating with screams and shrieks Mantis keeps quashed down so no one will look their way. It's very distracting.

"Rage! Raaaaage!" There's an explosion somewhere as the Indonesian does her due diligence. The Scandinavian’s irritating laughter echoes all over the sacked village that Ocelot's PMC and the local militia are fighting over for some reason. The African stalks the perimeter; Mantis has to tell her to do this, since whenever she gets in that suit of hers she just loves to bound all over the place instead of staying at a distance like a sniper, which is what she's  _ supposed _ to be.

She runs by just underneath Mantis. Mantis curses, drifting back in the air. If anyone's tracking her, they must have seen him. A teenaged girl in a skintight suit with six extra arms circling her shoulders is... a bit hard to miss.

Mantis doesn't speak the local language but the sentiment of  _ What the hell is that  _ comes across loud and clear. He isn't capable of stopping the bullets, or even slowing them down, in this body. The African sobs, aware that she's fucked up and lead their enemies straight to her so-called commander.

Maybe it's because it's not his body, technically, but the pain seems so far away. The ground approaches fast as Mantis drops out of the air. The Indonesian swoops by and catches him. They must be pulling back. Did he order them to do that?

All he can think about is that he didn't tell Liquid about this, he didn't  _ warn _ him that Ocelot was sending him out on an engagement and maybe, maybe he won't come back...

If Liquid is going to be left alone for the rest of forever, the least Mantis can do is make sure he knows he can't come because he's dead. He'd be there if could. He has to go.

The moment he comes to in the Shadow Moses simulation knocks the breath (does he even breathe anymore???) out of him. 

But there is Liquid and Mantis raises his arms weakly to reach him, he is just sitting there reading a book and  _ so _ close.

Something is not right and Mantis feels cold panic rise in him.

"Eli?" he tries and moves to get closer but his legs won't carry him, so instead he attempts to teleport and just ends up crashing into the opposite wall.

Liquid is still not reacting to his presence at all.

_ Oh god _ , Mantis thinks, what if somehow his connection to the simulation got damaged or severed completely - here he is stuck watching Liquid without being able to talk to him, touch him, tell him he is sorry for not being able to stay with him for any longer.

But then, as Mantis is crumpled down on the floor against the wall, hissing in pain and holding his chest, Liquid looks up from his reading and  _ sees _ him. 

Mantis feels almost a little pathetic for the wave of relief that washes over him, but he is by all means most likely dying at that very moment, so he figures that freaking the fuck out should be allowed right now.

"Mantis? Mantis, oh my god— you're bleeding. Why are you bleeding?"

Mantis feels cold and out of it as Liquid's by his side in a second, hands all over him as he hauls Mantis to his feet, alarmed and distressed, trying to figure out what the hell happened.

"Eli," Mantis rasps. His throat doesn't feel like cooperating with words right now.

"What's going on??  _ How _ are you even wounded, I didn't think you could-"

Liquid's starting to panic. Maybe Mantis' own fear is infectious or maybe Liquid's just looking at the bullet wounds dotting Mantis' torso and remembering the way he died.

Mantis' head is spinning.

"I suppose this is... what being in this much pain does to me..."

"Mantis,  _ what happened? _ Tell me."

Mantis takes a rattling breath as he lets Eli get into first-aid mode.

"They sent us on a combat assignment, testing out our gear in real threat situations...- the other girls…—"

"Combat?! Aren't these kids like, crazy or something?" Liquid mumbles as he dutifully presses his hands over the two most grave wounds, ordering Mantis to do the same. 

Mantis chuckles and actually coughs up a little blood. "They are  _ hungry _ , Eli. They need to fight - this what they were made for." 

Liquid ignores him for now and starts ripping apart the breakroom's couch blanket to tourniquet Mantis' left thigh, which seems to have a direct hit to a vein. 

"I didn't know you could get hurt..." he mumbles quietly and Mantis can feel how much self-control it takes Liquid not to freak out on him entirely. "They are going to take care of the girl though, right? Ocelot won't let her die?"

Mantis does not know what to say.

"He... he shouldn't..." Mantis mumbles at length. "He does think he is you, after all. He is probably... reacting the same way right now. If the girl survives the trip back to base."

"Hn." Liquid's mind is scattered - he's just focusing on patching up Mantis' frankly imaginary wounds. No matter how much care and attention Liquid gives him in the VR, Mantis won't just magically stop bleeding in real life just because Liquid bandaged him up. This is purely psychological, for both of them.

But damn if it doesn't make Mantis feel just a bit better. Liquid won't let him go down without a fight.

"I don't want to die," he says.

"You're not going to," Liquid says stubbornly. "I won't let you."

"Eli..."

It's so hard to think, to speak right now, but he has to. He has to tell Liquid.

"I'm sorry—"

"Shut up. You're not going to die."

Mantis wants to tell him so many things; that he feels sorry, that he wishes things had gone differently and most of all how important Liquid is to him. 

But the words will not come out and so he watches Liquid unclasp his mask, taking it off and throwing it behind him carelessly, a desperate aggression in his actions. 

"You can't die, Mantis," Liquid says in that faux-calm voice. "You already did that before - I'm not that easy to get rid of you know."

"That's not-" Mantis starts but gets shut up when Liquid wipes the blood from his mangled lips. 

"There must be a first-aid kit somewhere around here," Liquid mumbles and gets up. "Don't move, I'll be right here."

If the situation were any different Mantis would roll his eyes at him.

"Eli-"

He stops himself. Maybe this time he can give Liquid what he needed all along - a chance to properly say goodbye, to tend to Mantis' wounds and be there for him when things come to an end. 

He could just point out that Liquid's efforts are useless,  _ or _ he can leave him be and grant him this last bit of comfort.

Mantis decides on the latter.

Liquid comes back quickly with the first aid kit. Mantis sits quietly and lets Liquid fuss over him and stem his bleeding. After a certain point there isn't much Liquid can do besides gather Mantis up in his arms and maintain pressure on the worst of it.

If his AI parameters had allowed it, Liquid would have broken down into tears by now - Mantis knows it. The poor man's composure is crumbling.

"I don't want to be alone again," he whispers.

"I know, Eli," Mantis says, raising a hand to his face. "I know."

"They- they're not going to just let you die, in the real world I mean. I know what I'm doing is useless."

"Shh. It helps. I feel a little better."

"Please don't— please don't go."

They just sit there for a very long time, Liquid still holding Mantis as close as he can without hurting him further, mumbling little reassurances to calm them both down. 

Mantis tries to smile at him, even showing his teeth that are stained red from all the blood and somewhere in the back of his mind he feels something like pity for Screaming Mantis and the pain she must going through - after all the time he has spent with the girl he has gotten rather sentimental about her. 

When he leans up and puts some weight on his arm Liquid tries to stop him, but Mantis just shushes him quietly and presses a bloody kiss to his cheek. "Don't worry, Eli. Even if I don't make it-"

"No!"

"—even if I don't make it, you will not be alone. Sunny will visit you. And the AIs-"

Liquid frowns so hard it cuts Mantis off and he is surprised the man does not just drop him on the floor.

"How can you say that?! I'm not like  _ you! _ I won't be satisfied with some fake version of my best- my best friend bumming around here!"

Mantis sighs and there is a very uncomfortable rattling sound coming from his lungs. "You still do not understand Eli, when you are alone like I was you will hold onto any-"

"Shut up!" Liquid growls and shakes him a little too roughly. "I don't want to hear about this right now! I only want to be here with you..."

If Mantis is crying he just chalks it up to the pain he is in.

He waits to die.

Liquid holds him close, as close as he can, and after a while there's no more words, no more thoughts. They just sit quietly together and wait for the final goodbye.

Except... it seems to be taking a long time. And while Mantis is still very much in pain, he's starting to feel a little less...  _ disconnected _ from the VR, a little less floaty and little more grounded. Like his connection to the network is strengthening and he's regaining consciousness in the real world.

Somehow, this is embarrassing.

He breaks the silence. "I think I am going to be alright," he says.

"R-Really? Do you know what's going on out there?"

"No, I just... feel a little better now." He blinks. "Oh, they're calling me. So, the girl must be okay."

Liquid heaves a huge sigh of relief, but he only holds Mantis tighter. He's so happy that Mantis apparently pulled through that he's about to fall apart again so obviously he's reluctant to let Mantis leave like that.

"I have to let them know _ I  _ survived too," Mantis reasons, "I will be right back. I'm sure Ocelot will give me plenty of time to rest and recuperate."

"I know, but..."

"And I am sure that by the time I come back the girl will be on so many painkillers that my body here will no longer bear any wounds."

"..." Liquid sighs shakily. "You come  _ right _ back, do you hear me? I don't want to be alone longer than... let's say five minutes."

"Mm."

When he comes to for the second time he finds himself in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines and clad in bandages and hospital gown. 

And of  _ course _ , there is Ocelot.

Before he can even attempt to flee the old man looks up and exclaims his name in joy. "Mantis! I was so worried you didn’t make it! The girl said she could not feel you anymore, you really gave us quite the scare!" 

Grossed out by the exaggerated and unwanted familiarity, Mantis barely realises it on time when Ocelot starts touching him and holding his hand. 

"Stop that..." he whispers but his voice is hoarse and strained because the girl's body is still in a lot of pain, despite a generous dose of opioids in her blood.

Of course Ocelot ignores him and only stops what Mantis frankly considers  _ assault _ when the other girls show up, looking appropriately guilty for getting Mantis in this situation.

This is all too much for Mantis and he quickly excuses himself, after all he  _ and _ the girl still need rest. Ocelot reluctantly allows him to leave and again Mantis wonders about how hard the man has fooled himself into assuming Liquid's role - after all, this dedication and care can not be an act. 

Mantis does not really care though, it is gross anyway. So he ends up waving tiredly at the girls before dropping out of consciousness and diving back into the VR. Eli, the real one,  _ his _ Eli is waiting.

"I'm going to kill him," Liquid says once Mantis has told him what's happening in the real world. Now that he knows the girl is not about to die to them he seems wholly uninterested in her condition and much more concerned about Ocelot's stolen affection. Priorities.

"As you keep saying," Mantis says, rubbing his arm. He was right about his wounds disappearing upon his return to the VR, but he still feels the ache.

Liquid notices and starts rubbing his back where one of the exit wounds had been - or is, rather. Mantis leans into his touch a little. It feels nice.

"Eli," he says at length, "we need to talk."

"About what? Haven't we been over everything by now? About if you happened to die while I'm trapped here, I mean..."

Mantis shakes his head. "About Shadow Moses. You remember what my autopsy report said, don't you?"

"Yes, you had all that internal bleeding. You didn't mean to get killed."

"...but I never told you why I faced Snake in the first place... knowing I was taking such a risk."

Liquid stills.

Mantis lets out a tired laugh, despite everything. "You know what I told Snake when I was dying? That I just had followed your command to be able to kill as many people as possible..." 

Liquid does not seem too amused. 

"Of course that was a lie - there was nobody there to kill on this cursed island in the middle of nowhere, even your dimwit brother must have realised that." Mantis grabs Liquid's hand, somehow fearing that he will get up and walk away. "Maybe I didn't always agree with your goals, I admit that, but my loyalty was with you and so I swore to follow you into death - had promised that to myself decades ago."

Still staring at him, Liquid just nods slowly, thoughts and realisations clicking into place behind his eyes.

"I always thought the revolution was going to fail, not because I did not trust you or your abilities but because I felt  _ something _ , maybe even  _ knew _ that death was nearing." Mantis looks away. "I decided not to tell you, thought it was nice how happy and enthusiastic you were - after all, you would realize yourself soon enough. But you grew more manic with every day and I feared you would suffer more than- more than necessary if I was there to witness you fail."

Mantis is silent for a moment and tries to study Liquid's features, read his mind - but is met with an eerily hollow numbness.

He really should have talked about this sooner, this just is not fair.

"So when I knew Snake was approaching I took him on to let myself be killed."

Liquid's face twitches.

"It was not easy, he was surprisingly foolish, I expected someone related to you to be more capable at combat—"

"Mantis," Liquid warns him.

"Ah, but. You were going to have your moment of glory, even if it was short-lived. Somehow I believed we would meet right after you had lost, though I suppose I was not wrong. It just took longer than I anticipated."

" _ Mantis _ ," Liquid says again and shakes his head, knuckles white where they are gripping onto Mantis arms. "You are  _ so _ stupid- how could you be so stupid and—"

All that leaves his throat beyond that are little choked sounds, and despite being unable to produce tears in this body - Liquid cries, in his very own way.

His touch isn't well received and he doesn't expect it to be, but nonetheless Mantis wraps his arms around Liquid and just... holds him. It's been a rough day for him, hasn't it? Mantis honestly feels more sorry for Liquid than he does for himself. Physical pain is easier to deal with than emotional pain. Aspirin versus straight vodka.

"Just..." Liquid lets go of him and steps back, rubbing his face. "Just go," he says, "I want to be alone right now."

"Eli..."

"Go away! I-I need to think about this."

"..."

He'll be back soon to comfort his poor, overwhelmed and stressed-out Eli, but for now Mantis retreats back to the real world again. The girl is knocked out on opiates, so slipping back into the pilot seat in her skull is easy.

And, at least, Ocelot's fucked off. The other girls are still here, though, keeping vigil at his bedside.

"I'm glad you're not dead, old man," the Scandinavian says. "We were worried about you!"

Mantis shakes his head. "I've had enough of dying."


End file.
